導讀:一笑而過做一個有度量的人,還要學會寬容。寬容是一種美德,寬容是一種境界,寬容是一種智慧,寬容是一種力量。你在寬容別人的同時,也給了自己一個淡定的心態!只有學會寬容別人,才懂得寬容自己。世人多幾分寬容,社會就多幾分和諧,少幾分爭斗。

人生有時頗感寂寞,或遇到危難之境,人之心靈,卻能發了妙用,一笑置之,于是又輕松下來。這是好的,也可看出他人之度量。

古代名人,常有這樣的度量,所以成其偉大。希臘大哲人蘇格拉底娶了姍蒂柏。她是有名的悍婦,常作河東獅吼。傳說,蘇氏未娶之前,已經聞悍婦之名,然而蘇氏還是娶她。

他有解嘲方法,說娶老婆有如御馬,御馴馬沒有什么可學,娶個悍婦,于修心養性的功夫大有補助。有一天里吵鬧不休,蘇氏忍無可忍,只好出門。正到門口,老太太由屋頂倒一盆水下來,正好淋在他的頭上。蘇氏說:“我早曉得,雷霆之后必有甘霖。”真虧得這位哲學家雍容自若的態度。

林肯的老太婆,也是有名的,很潑辣,喜歡破口罵人。有一天一個送報的小孩子,十二三歲,不知道是送報太遲,或有什么過失,遭到林肯太太百般惡罵,詈不絕口。小孩去向報館老板哭訴,說她不該罵人過甚,以后他不肯到那家送報了。這是一個小城,于是老板向林肯提起這小事。

林肯說:“算了吧!我能忍她十多年。這小孩子偶然挨一兩頓罵,算什么?”這是林肯的解嘲。

中國有句老話,叫做“塞翁失馬,焉知非福?”林肯以后成為總統,據他小城的律師同事赫恩頓的傳記,可以歸功于這位太太。

赫恩頓書中說,林肯怪可憐的。星期六半夜,大家由酒吧要回家時,獨林肯一人不大愿意回家。所以林肯那副出人頭地,簡練機警,應對如流的口才,全是在酒吧中學來的。

又蘇格拉底也是家里不得安靜看書,因此成一習慣,天天到市場去,站在街上談空說理。因此乃開始“游行派的哲學家”的風氣。他們講學,不在書院,就在街頭逢人問難駁詰。這一派哲學家的養成,也應歸功于蘇妻。

關于這類的故事很多,尤其關于臨終時的雅謔。這種修煉功夫,常人學不來的。

蘇格拉底之死,由柏拉圖寫來是最動人的故事。市政府說他巧辯惑眾,貽誤青年子弟,賜他服毒自盡。那夜他慷慨服毒,門人忍痛陪著,蘇氏卻從容闡發真理。最后他的名言是:“想起來,我欠某人一只雄雞未還。”叫他門人送去,不可忘記。這是他斷氣以前最后的一句話。

金圣嘆被判死刑,獄中發出的信,也是這一派:“花生米與豆腐干同嚼,大有火腿滋味。”(大約如此)歷史上從容就義的人很多,不必列舉。

西班牙有一傳說。一個守禮甚謹的伯爵將死,一位朋友去看他。伯爵已經氣喘不過來,但是那位訪客還是刺刺不休長談下去。伯爵只好忍著靜聽,到了最后關頭,伯爵不耐煩地對來客說:“對不起,求先生原諒,讓我此刻斷氣。”他翻身朝壁,就此善終。

我嘗讀耶穌最后一夜對他門徒的長談,覺得這段動人的議論,尤勝過蘇氏臨終之言。而耶穌在十字架上臨死之言:“上帝啊,寬恕他們,因為他們所為,出于不知。”這是耶穌的偉大,出于人情所不能及。這與他一貫的作風相同:“施之者比受之者有福。”可惜我們常人能知不能行,常做不到。

春秋時期,有個自以為很有學問的人來到孔府門前,請求拜見孔子。孔子的學生仲由正要入內稟報,這個人搶先說道:“既然孔家師門學問不淺,弟子一定也知之甚多,順便請教一題,以便考量虛實,可否?”仲由忙說:“先生請講!”


    那人便問:“請教,一年有幾個季節?”仲由一愣神兒,心想這算問題么?于是就順口答道:“一年有四季。”那人手捋胡須哈哈大笑道:“你錯了,明明一年有三季嘛!”“四季沒錯!”“就是三季!”兩人針鋒相對,爭得面紅耳赤。


    “這樣吧,”那人提議,“請教孔老夫子,如果他說是四季,我給你磕頭認輸;如果他說是三季,你給我磕頭認輸。如何?”“成!”兩人這樣定下君子協議。


    孔子見外面有動靜,便出門查看。仲由馬上請老夫子評判誰是誰非。孔夫子上下打量那人曰:“一年乃三季也。”學生大驚,莫非孔老師糊涂了?那人見此情況,硬讓仲由叩頭謝罪。


    事后,仲由問孔子何以如此回答。孔子說,那人是個蚱蜢,春天生,夏天育,秋天產子而亡。只知年有三季,何與他談“冬”?對待這種愚蠢的人,不能跟他一般見識。你說破了天,他也是不懂,何必勞神,徒而無功?仲由連忙點頭稱是。


    這個故事說明了這樣一個道理,即做人要有寬宏的度量,要嚴于律己,寬以待人,不能太較真兒。


    “大肚能容,容天下難容之事;開口便笑,笑世上可笑之人。”彌勒佛寺廟里的這副對聯告訴人們,做人要有度量。大度既是一種高尚的品質、可貴的境界,也是具有力量的一種表現。一般地說,一個人度量越大,則其見識越高,涵養越好,因為他能夠不被一時的矛盾所蒙蔽,不為些許的利益所束縛,看到長遠,把握全局。


     大度是一個人取得成功不可或缺的內在力量。胸懷大度成大事,小肚雞腸難成事,這已成為人們的共識。縱觀古今中外那些能夠成就大事者,又無一不具有包容天地的廣闊胸懷。西周的周厲王視不同意見為壞話,聞過則怒,到頭來落了個眾叛親離被流放的可悲下場;西楚霸王項羽雖武功蓋世,卻因“自矜功伐,奮其私智”,專橫跋扈,不可一世,結果自刎烏江,了結一生。  


     要大度,首先就要不怕吃虧。吃虧是福,有時候看著象吃虧了,但從長遠考慮,卻不一定是吃虧,當別人覺得占了你的便宜時,他覺得虧欠了你,覺得你是個可交之人。你就會有更多的朋友。


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